The Problem of Noise

One of my partners recently mentioned that he was becoming more and more annoyed that people with stop a discussion with him to check their iPhone, or perhaps worse yet, to check their twitter or facebook pages. This got me thinking, are we placing undue value on virtual relationships v/s physical relationships?

I recently received a facebook friend invite from somebody I went to High School with. Now, I’ve long since moved away and haven’t kept in touch with a single person that I knew from my hometown, but I accepted this Facebook invite anyway. I guess it’s because I was interested to see what he’d been up to. Maybe it’s the fact that I am not required to actually participate in the Facebook dialog, but can simply consume it as I do a news site. This leads to questions of the relevance of Social Networking as a part of a vibrant and healthy lifestyle.

I will admit that I routinely flip from one thought to another while my wife is talking to me. She will be telling me about her day as a Nursing student and I will suddenly think “I wonder what my calendar looks like tomorrow?”, or “I wonder if there are any new articles about Arsenal out there?”. This is ridiculous, as I obviously am more interested in listening to her as I love her and am interested and amazed at what is going on in her life. I see this in my work life as well.  If I’m writing an email, I will suddenly think about a meeting that I’m supposed to have, or a proposal that I’m writing. My brain expects me to jump from one thing to another, never spending the appropriate amount of time on any one task. Are these thoughts a result of living a lifestyle of information overload, or am I simply unorganized and undisciplined?

In the context of a discussion like this, I think it would be easy to blame the internet and the subsequent social networking craze, but I don’t this problem is so new. Many years ago Television taught us to only consume around 10 minutes of entertainment at a time before we are bombarded with 3 minutes of commercials that would suggested that all we do in the US is eat and take drugs. While 10 minutes may seem like a lifetime in the internet generation, I wonder if we haven’t been slowly boiled into a twitter mindset. Three minutes of commercials seems like a lifetime compared to 140 characters.

Now as a Partner at FORGE, I spend a lot of time talking about Marketing on the web, Social Networking, etc., so it would be hypocritical of me to suggest that those things are all bad.  But I feel that we need to introduce balance back into our lives and our culture. If we value personal relationships over virtual ones, then let’s act like it.

I am going to personally try and not even pull my phone out of my pocket if I’m speaking to someone. I want to show respect to the person talking, and not allow my mind to be as easily distr … I wonder if the Arsenal Champions League game this week will be on TV?

November 3, 2009

Posted in personal, social networking and tagged , , .

  • Jeremy Loyd

    Nice article Chad. I definitely consider myself as having “work-induced ADD”! In regards to your Facebook comments, a friend of mine told me one time, “There’s a reason you didn’t stay in contact with a lot of those people from your past!”

  • http://www.mulberrycreekcsa.com Gail

    Hi Chad!
    I agree! Have you ever read the book, “Fish”, out several years ago? One of the key points is being present. I often observe people during the “meet and greet” time at church (or in other venues) and so often as some one is giving a hug or handshake and saying good morning, they’re already scanning the crowd for their next target. Yet it’s difficult to turn off those little distractors (is the laundry done yet?) and be present in the moment with the person with whom we’re conversing, whether it’s F2F, via telephone, chat, e-mail, Skype or Telepresence, or whatever. Our relationships are so important (I could preach an entire series on this one!)
    I found your observation about old HS classmates friending you to the point. While I have valued reconnecting with friends I’d lost touch with (those little distractors build up and subsequently lead to drifting apart) but there are a bunch of people who’ve friended me that I never had any kind of relationship with in the original location. Makes an interesting point to ponder: what is a relationship, anyway?
    Keep up the good work!

  • Chad

    Thanks a bunch. I’m no writer, but I hope to have some meaningful dialog here.