The onslaught of the words “Social Media” in my everyday life have caused me to rethink my involvement in the whole thing. While my job at a FORGE means that I need to understand the effect that social media has on our business, I also am aware that social media and social awareness are not guaranteed to be in agreement. An implied equality between a “friend network” and a friend is proving to be a strain on the fabric of our social circles. Technology, so long thought to simplify our lives, it beginning to intrude on our lives in a profound way.  As this is happening, it is not introducing a clear division but rather a blurred line between our person, professional, and past lives. The feelings of disconnect have never been greater.

Cognitive Dissonance

As I was thinking about this issue, I wondered if the theory of cognitive dissonance was relevant.  Cognitive dissonance proposes that people have an emotional desire to feel complete. The unrest that comes from things being left incomplete feeds our need for products such as checklists and to-do applications. Entire productivity industries such as Getting Things Done (GTD) from David Allen have risen up from the need to escape the feeling that we’ve missed something. GTD proposes to reduce the feeling that you’ve missed something by organizing your life.

While I’ve spent some time with the GTD system, and the Things app by Cultured Code, feelings of disconnect haven’t entirely been solved. Both my personal and professional life is full of unfinished thoughts and disconnected emotional items that continually present me with feelings of mental unrest. And no part of my life introduces cognitive dissonance to a greater degree than social media.

The assumed goal of social media is basically to communicate using technology. Since media is defined as “the main means of mass communication”, then social media would be utilizing media (web, print, tv, radio) for the dissemination of social communication or relationships. The suggestion here is that communication in person is the same as communication over the web. This is obviously not the same, and I have experienced an ever-increasing feeling of disconnect. The very opposite of the main tenant of social media.

Babies and Bathwater

So does this mean that I think social media is a waste?  Honestly, I’m probably not going to use social media as much as I used to. I have truly hit the wall as far as how I use social media in it’s current state.  I still get requests to “use Facebook more” and “hey, you haven’t tweeted in a while”.  I will certainly reconsider if the direction that social media takes seems interesting, but at this time I’m not interested.

I’m more concerned with being a good husband, father, co-worker and friend to the people that I really care about. I have for too long neglected the people in my life that I have a real connection with in order to absorb myself in fake relationships and meaningless activities.  I needed a change in my life.  So I’m no longer going to tweet every interesting thought that I have (I never really did much of this to be honest), or update LinkedIn every time I gain a new skill.  My blog will get some attention because I love to write, but my Facebook friends will have to be OK without my participation.  Those networks will live on without my attention.  As for my friends, I’m sure they’ll be OK.  Besides, they all have more “friends” than me anyway.

So I was wondering what it would be like if FORGE treated potential clients like we treat prospective employees.  Instead of us selling ourselves, we would let potential clients know if THEY fit the bill. Here’s my first draft:

INDUSTRY: Any

POSITION: FORGE client

JOB DESCRIPTION:
FORGE is looking for a client with a solid understanding of the world of business, and how design and the web effect their brand as touchpoints. This company must have relevant needs and be willing to discuss these needs with FORGE. This company must also be willing to discuss their budget with FORGE. Also, they must have a budget!

You know you’re the right company if:

• you know what a brand is (or are willing to learn)
• you know what a brand standards manual is (or would like FORGE to create you one)
• you are willing to actually put relevant, well-written content on your website (not just once, but many times)
• you are looking for a long-term partner
• you have a marketing plan (or would like FORGE to help you create one)

You know you’re not the right company if:

• you think that a website is an SEO project
• you think that the Yellow Pages = eMarketing = a good idea
• you just want somebody to draw you a picture
• you want a flash website cause somebody told you it’s cool
• you want to hire a company that “offers search engine optimization and internet marketing services”
• you want a splash page for your website
• you have a great idea for a website, and if we’ll partner with you and make it for free we’ll get paid once it takes off

DESIRED SKILLS/DUTIES:
Applicants must have relevant experience in the “being a client” industry. Although FORGE will consider applicants without experience, they must have a degree in french cooking, as we like to eat. A lot. Potential clients must like to surf (no reason, we just think it’s cool) and have no problem paying their bills on time. Good ideas are helpful, and potential applicants must show experience in approving designs and copy. A college degree is helpful, but not required.

Please send applications to FORGE.

I recently received a facebook friend invite from somebody I went to High School with. Now, I’ve long since moved away and haven’t kept in touch with a single person that I knew from my hometown, but I accepted this Facebook invite anyway. I guess it’s because I was interested to see what he’d been up to. Maybe it’s the fact that I am not required to actually participate in the Facebook dialog, but can simply consume it as I do a news site. This leads to questions of the relevance of Social Networking as a part of a vibrant and healthy lifestyle.

I will admit that I routinely flip from one thought to another while my wife is talking to me. She will be telling me about her day as a Nursing student and I will suddenly think “I wonder what my calendar looks like tomorrow?”, or “I wonder if there are any new articles about Arsenal out there?”. This is ridiculous, as I obviously am more interested in listening to her as I love her and am interested and amazed at what is going on in her life. I see this in my work life as well.  If I’m writing an email, I will suddenly think about a meeting that I’m supposed to have, or a proposal that I’m writing. My brain expects me to jump from one thing to another, never spending the appropriate amount of time on any one task. Are these thoughts a result of living a lifestyle of information overload, or am I simply unorganized and undisciplined?

In the context of a discussion like this, I think it would be easy to blame the internet and the subsequent social networking craze, but I don’t this problem is so new. Many years ago Television taught us to only consume around 10 minutes of entertainment at a time before we are bombarded with 3 minutes of commercials that would suggested that all we do in the US is eat and take drugs. While 10 minutes may seem like a lifetime in the internet generation, I wonder if we haven’t been slowly boiled into a twitter mindset. Three minutes of commercials seems like a lifetime compared to 140 characters.

Now as a Partner at FORGE, I spend a lot of time talking about Marketing on the web, Social Networking, etc., so it would be hypocritical of me to suggest that those things are all bad.  But I feel that we need to introduce balance back into our lives and our culture. If we value personal relationships over virtual ones, then let’s act like it.

I am going to personally try and not even pull my phone out of my pocket if I’m speaking to someone. I want to show respect to the person talking, and not allow my mind to be as easily distr … I wonder if the Arsenal Champions League game this week will be on TV?